I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize