oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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