I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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