Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
