my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
