I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
