Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
