She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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