Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
