you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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