Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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