Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
