He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
