Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
