Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
