Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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