I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
