Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
