please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
