my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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