I'm drive I can fine osifer
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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