If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
