Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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