also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
