laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
