My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
