drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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