is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
