I need help removing her.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
