Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
