he laminated a picture of his dick.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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