Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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