dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
