I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
