Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
