with your own penis?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
