You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
