I just threw up on my dentist
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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