just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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