K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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