This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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