I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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