We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
