we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
