Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
