Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
