We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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