My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
