sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
