I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
